in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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