I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
