My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize