did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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