well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
