i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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