well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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