Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
