He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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