Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
