i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
