i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Houston, we have a blender
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
