wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
