I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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