She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
