is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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