still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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