I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
