We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
