Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
tell me about the eggs
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
