Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize