I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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