Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
