ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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