The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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