he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
