Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
