After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
