It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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