North Korea, Best Korea!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize