the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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