Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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