I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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