i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
