i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
