RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My vagina is officially offended.
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