I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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