Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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