I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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