Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
