Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this boner is exhausting
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
