she woke up with a sticky ear
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
