12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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