i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
