Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
