will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
