lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
