i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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