would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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