FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
