i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
