guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
