check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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