the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
