we have pet lesbian snakes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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