I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
