I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
