So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
