do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
organizing the empties. That sober.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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