just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
