am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
