clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You need Xanax blowdarts
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize