Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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