I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
