Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
